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Love and warmest wishes,
Tobbot, aka Tobstv.
I haven't been posting lately, as end of term is always a hectic time, and our beloved leaders have decided, in their wisdom, to 'front-load' all the boring, crappy administrative stuff, so that as much paperwork is completed this first term. Being a brainless Tobbot, I am incapable of following simple directives until obviously, the very, very last moment, so I've been running like a blue-arsed fly to get the lot done in time for Christmas!
However, paperwork notwithstanding, this hasn't been the reason why I have been frantic, and I really didn't want to post about what was really going on, well, just in case I jinx it.
The good news is that my beloved motorcycle of 6 years, my BMW F650 has finally been sold. The really exciting news is that she is being shipped to Gambia! Yes, just like Charlie Boringman and Ewan I'm Scottishdon'tyou know, my ride will be bashing roads in West Africa!
Though a veteran of eBay sales, I had yet to ever sell a vehicle, and so when this one sold, I decided to give her a complete overhaul, 'cause you just never know if something is going to fail at the last minute, or fall off, just as the buyer is giving her the look-over.
So, two and a bit weeks of frantic polishing, painting, nut screwing, bolt replacing, drilling and washing work went by, including a flush of the old carbs, until D-Day (Delivery Day) this afternoon, when Africa Man came, saw, rode, and planted a large pile of dosh in my trembling, sweaty hands.
I am now so bloooooody knackered!
But the bike is out of my life! Woo Hoo!
But really, when a good friend leaves, you can't help but feel a little depressed, mini-tobbot came out and gave her a goodbye kiss, the neighbours came to see her off, and now...
There is a space in my workshop where a bike used to be.
Tobbot, aka Tobstv
If I ever had to justify the ruinous cost of my broadband connection, reading Violent Acre's blog would surely be up there as one of my top reasons. This American lady hits the nail on the head when it comes to discussing the tripe the dang Yankees call 'life'. Whether it's trashing white trailer scum, mommybloggers, teenagers and tailgaters, she cheerfully plunges the knife in deep...and then twists.
Problem is, I'm so doubled up with laughter, the pain kinda recedes!
One post, about when she bought her first property with her husband, accurately mirrors exactly what takes place over here. And of course, she asks the right question; why is it that as consumers we are so eager to save on a few pennies, when it comes to buying cheap stuff like butter and cheese, and yet we are so willing to overspend by thousands of pounds when it comes to buying our homes? What, just because the price difference is a mere £100 on our monthly mortgage payment?
Her point that estate agents and financial advisers are in this to take as much as they can off you in one single hit uncovers a very simple, basic truth; when it comes to real money, money that counts, lottery-winning stuff, don't play nice. Play as nasty as you can, 'cause believe you me, they couldn't care less.
OK, now if you ride a motorcycle, you will know that the engine block is a part of the motorcycle most likely to corrode, and eventually will need a re-spray. So here is Tobbot's quick and easy method to detailing your engine:
1. Get your chequebook
2. Ride to a paint-shop
That's it. The 4 (count them, FOUR!) days and 40 pounds I spent trying to do this myself, just do not at all justify doing this job yourself.
You have been told!
While driving Baba-Nina to Luton airport this morning, I had an epiphany about languages and why Britain as a nation seem to be losing on a daily basis its national identity as well as its standing in the world.
Of all the countries I have been to, (27 at the last count) 2 came to mind, Thailand, where I was brought up, and The USSR. Both of these countries experience a strange phenomenon; the ability to 'brainwash' immigrants in such a way, that after 5 or 10 years, they proudly proclaim, 'I'm Thai, you know. Hey, I speak the language, plus I've got the passport to prove it.' 'My kids go to a Thai school, I've got a Thai wife, and I'm considering Buddhism.'
Meanwhile, back in the USSR, people took pride in how clear their Russian pronunciation was, how many classical composers they could name, along with their compositions, and how they enjoyed shashlik and black tea served Russkiey style in a glass with tons of sugar; "Sweet and hot as a girl's kiss."
What struck me was clear; true immigration occurs when the emigre takes pride in how closely they observe their host's culture; it occurs when you are able to quote Dostoyevsky to a visiting professor of Russian Culture, and glow in the warm beam of their smile. Or bowing your head when visiting a temple, and the monk blesses you, and performing a proper 'wai' when greeting your Thai boss.
A country properly rooted in its own identity and culture accepts immigrants as one of their own, and does not hesitate to proudly display its traditions and beliefs. It does not fear causing offence; hey, you're in my house, and I can do what I want. It's up to you to show me respect by conforming to the House Rules, and not the other way 'round.
And if they should come to my country, in search of better employment, better education for their kiddies, and the freedom to express themselves how they want to, then they can forget about sending money 'home', or acting the way they do 'back home'.
Their home is here.
Found this today, and I can't believe it, how all our cravings for various foods are all down to chemical deficiencies, for example, a need for chocolate is a deficiency in magnesium!
And there I was thinking it was because I'm trying to quit smoking.
Anyhoo, the site lists all the deadly sins, "a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips" the deficiency, and the alternatives: mostly legumes, nuts and cheese. 
Oh yeah, just when the interweb wasn't dirty enough, I've found this great new site for free, downloadable porn; what's more, it is Workplace Safe! That's right, you can download anything from this site, it won't cost a penny, and your boss won't mind. Heck, he/she might want a peek too!
The World Wide Web: serving fresh porn to you since 1992.
Luckily, the Tobbot Clan have all decided on the same thing for Christmas; a Nintendo Wii! Talk about an impossible gift!
Seeing that the only game I have ever played was the 30-year-old Pong; I'm glad the whole family agreed to go for the Wee. Hah, last time I played a game, the game console, an Atari 2600, was the size of the Oxford Unabridged Dictionary, came with two 'paddles' and you could only play four games. Great, huh?
Yes, we would like to try out a games console, however, as we are rather fond of mini-tobbot and don't want to sell her in order to get one, we are being slightly cunning about this.
First off, was to apply for a pair of Platinum Barclaycards, at the time, they came with a £50 voucher for applying and using the card, so now we are about to apply for, and hopefully getting, £100 worth of John Lewis vouchers.
Barclaycard do offer a choice, you can go for Argos, M&S, Waitrose and Debenhams for example. But we've been told that John Lewis has a good reputation for customer service, if things go wrong.
Next, we are going to buy it...next year. Yep, why the heck should I pay for the CEO's Champagne Dinner with his shareholders, when all I have to do is wait it out for a couple of months and the dang things will be knocked down anyway?
Of course, I would still like to slip a little something under the Christmas Tree for December 25th, and there is no better place to visit on-line then this cunning site: http://www.giftgen.co.uk/. You click on the amount you want to spend, the recipient's age, their interests, and hey presto: tons of suggestions.
So, what I want for Christmas: costs nothing but a sheet out of my printer, and will provide me with hours of fun and entertainment: my own Harley Davidson!
Get your own by clicking below:
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